Grown Up School Part 3: Freedom and Restraint Christine November 16, 2011 Explore Everything, Personal Growth Continued from Grown Up School Part 2: Self and Other There are 4 aspects on this continuum between Freedom and Restraint. 1. Feeling Freedom: I can feel deeply, I know what I am feeling, I don’t push feelings away. If I can’t feel deeply, I am shut off from myself, from the universe and from other people. Restraint: On the other hand, I don’t have to act on those feelings, or react to them. I can hold myself until my expression of the feeling is good for myself and others. If I can’t hold onto myself, I am a drama queen, an unstable force in the community. 2. Desire Freedom: I allow myself to want, and to name the things I want. If I don’t allow myself desire, I am sleep walking to the beauties of the world. Restraint: However, I can delay gratification and even deny gratification if it is better for myself and the world. If I can’t delay gratification I risk gluttony, overspending, or a mentality of disposability- not valuing the very thing I have prized. 3. Expression Freedom: I can fully express my creative force. If I can’t express my creative force, in some way (words, love, music, art, action, building, sport) I am denying a core element of my humanity. Restraint: I can do it in such a way that doesn’t step on or impinge the rights of others. If I express it with no regard to others or without restraint, I take advantage of others, and cross their boundaries. 4. Exploration Freedom: I am open to new experience, I see adventure. If I’m not open to experience, I become ritualized and limited, stuck in my ways. Restraint: I am equally able to ground and be steady, not grasping for the next high. If I am an experience junkie, I’m unable to be content with what it right now.